A Drive With Myself ...!!

On a bleak evening, having subdued by loneliness I went on drive on my bike to discover myself.
Don't know with whom it was competing, but my bike was striving to get through, tearing the gusty air. My mind was perplexed by baffling questions I was asking it to know myself.

Why my heart is still discontented having achieved many watersheds in life? I am not running to endeavour opulence for sure. With this I provided my mind with space shuttle to voyage in the flashback to gather reviving moments of my winsome life. Since my childhood, I have been very industrious not because I want to conquer the result but because I love the road to destination more than the destination itself. I have been lured by an enticing road since my adolescence and I started walking on it just having an insight of self satisfaction without a shred of cognizance about where this way is leading to.

As I grew, I found that it was a bait laid to trap me. There was a big stone of obstacle resting in my way to hinder my smooth run when I was preparing for higher secondary board examination. I strongly believe, had I been succumbed to that stumbling block, I would have fallen in to an abyss. My mind-hand coordination was hampered and I was just helpless not being able to write having each and every answer being known. I felt like bursting into tears of disappointment after each and every examination but my fighting nature helped me remain calm. Somehow I could manage to get at least respectable score and get into the Mechanical Engineering. After that I fought to vanish that hindrance from its root and I succeeded. To me it is my biggest achievement of life.

One thing I started believing is that there is always something good we have but we have to fight for the thing you don't have. For me it was in the form of physique. Having got a humiliating skinny body, I passed out from school with weight of 40 kg...!! Then I made up my mind and hit the gym. I would not say I could get a well toned body but could manage to get respectable 60 kg within few years. After that I started leaping on the roads I was walking slowly before. I got into IIT and lived moments of life there. I came to Bangalore, become a part of most exciting work but still I am not satisfied. I have chosen the way of technology development to contribute to the society and it requires lot more efforts.

All of a sudden, I realized that I have come 40 kms just reminiscing and I have to go back to my home as I cannot miss any episode of "Just Dance". After all past is past. It is just to get vigour and rigour to live in present. Having got almost everything I wished, still deep into the heart there is a sense of incompleteness, a shred of discontent.

Don't know why?

Where Gone Those Days Are?

Striking the key board after a long time, but not with ecstasy, neither with disheartened soul. One time's vivacious life seems to have become humdrum and insipid. Today again, I came back from office at 11.30 in the night when sky is being illuminated with the lustrous stars, when people are just on the verge of falling asleep. After previous day's night out to finish the assignment, I feel enervated and lost almost all vigor. Just had the glass of milk and turned on the music player to get some vitality. And suddenly one nostalgic question filled my mind, "Where Gone Those Days Are?" The days of joy, the days of fun, the golden days of IIT Kharagpur..!!

I asked one question to myself, Have I been really wanting this? I was aspirant and I achieved the best possible watersheds I wanted ever. Although I have entered into one of the best corporate industries, the memories of those luminous days lived in "IIT Kgp" are still reverberating . For me, It was complete transformation of my personality, I built up confidence in those years and made my life vivid. Got many opportunities, some disappointments too. Then I embarked into the company with high on confidence but lost some of it with the lapse of time. The time I feel loosing confidence, I just retrospect and get spirit from the propitious days spent in IIT Kgp. And I am sure, those days would not have been priceless, had you guys not been there...!!

I could remember, almost 3 years back, I met one person on Kolkata airport, nearly at around 11 pm, the person was almost 140 pounds, having rotund belly who didn't start talking with Hi and Hellos but rather tried to quench his longing by offering cigarette to us, "Does any one smoke ? ", that was the first words I listened from his mouth. And, that person was no other than our beloved "Tond", Aayush Agrawal, who was my first ever room mate. I still remember, we had disembarked from Jet Airways on Kolkata airport on late night, then we went to railway station to catch train for Kgp, we were tired and looking like refugees, seeking shelter but could not find train and we had to sleep on railway platform that night. What an experience it was...!!

Then I got the admission to IIT kgp, I was nervous as I hadn't got any offer before, to my interested field, and Kgp was my last ray of hope. But, somehow I could get entry to it and I was very happy that time. Then my journey started..A jaunt for joy and a quest for knowledge. I got my life's best experience in Kgp.

Now, I really miss those outings, those gossips, that food which was really not edible and that dwelling which was definitely not habitable. Where gone those days are, where the minds get refreshed and the hearts get raptured when our spartan Karan starts narrating the stories. I really miss the jargons of Tond which really were not understandable to anyone. Where disappeared those days when abstruse Hindi of sloppy Balu and funny Hindi of Sai make you smile.

Where disappeared those days when Leela sir gives you the best tips of love and dude Ravi makes you injured just by his hug. I really miss those cartoon T-shirts of Raju bhai, the unique hair style of Rajani, boisterous laughter of Dev-d and spasmodic company of Dudeni Neha. The strong knowledge base of Profs Pramod and Nirmal, the satirical talks of Babba, sincere talks of Swati and Sourabh and the pin drop silence of taciturn Dp and Kripa are really worth remembering.

Where is our cute chhotu who was really juvenile, where is our night bird, extremely vivacious and always exuberant Fatto who will accompany you at 2 o'clock in night for tea and berates you and pinch you if you don't follow her words. Where is that athletic girl Richa whose gibberish gossips make your day..!! Really where gone those days are..??

It is 2 o'clock in my watch now..my eyes are drowsy and seeking sleep. Tomorrow again the sun will shine and bring the rays of opportunities and progress. Again new milestones are ready to be achieved, new responsibilities would begin, new happiness would illuminate the life, but the memories of those days would always be in safeguards..!!

Friends Rock..!!!